1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
