By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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