How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
