I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
