I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
