And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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