some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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