As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
