some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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