Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
