omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
