Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
