i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
