this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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