People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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