I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
