somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
