we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
