I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
