Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lukehappygilmore hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am spending my child support on dildos

Fav 78 1484 4266
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

Fav 37 4850 1066
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight

Fav 10 4133 1198
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.

Fav 35 2109 5704
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

you found the shrooms didnt you

Fav 7 4665 1084
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it

Fav 6 1291 685
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

Fav 1 961 539
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.

Fav 1 102 285
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(713): View more from Texas

Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.

Fav 0 136 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT