there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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