I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
