He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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