This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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