I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
