Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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