I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
