I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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