I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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