I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
