So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
