There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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