I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
