I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize