he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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