i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
