bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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