# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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