apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
