i was born a porn star she said
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
