also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
try to milk me bitch
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