One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
