Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
