If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
