so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
