I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize