I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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