yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
