Do you still have your period?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
