i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
