I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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