just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
