just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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