she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
