I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
