What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
