I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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