There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Randomize
