so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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