WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
