let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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